When doubt creeps in

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t questioned their decision to move to Spain at some point, even if only for a brief moment.

Our first winter here was when my doubts began to creep in. Those feelings turned into a few weeks of uncertainty and a rollercoaster of emotions, but talking to other mums helped me realise it wasn’t just me. Almost everyone goes through it at some point, and I came to understand that it’s not a sign you made the wrong move; it’s just part of the process when you take such a big leap and move your family to a new country.

Doubt at 30,000 feet

My doubts began on Christmas Eve, while I was flying back to Spain after visiting the UK. We had spent time with family and friends and enjoyed a mini Christmas there, but we were heading home to celebrate the real one. Leaving was much more emotional than I had anticipated.

I sat on the plane trying to blink away tears, overwhelmed by a feeling I couldn’t quite place. As the grey skies disappeared beneath us, my thoughts spiralled.

Was I actually unhappy in Spain? Did I want to come back to the UK? Surely not.

This was the place I had dreamed of living for years, the plan I built in my head through long winters and busy days, and in that moment, I felt unsteady.

During the flight, I tried to calm myself by remembering all the reasons we’d moved. The lifestyle we wanted. The slower pace. The opportunities. The future I imagined for my family. I reminded myself that no move, especially one this big, is ever straightforward.

Still, when we landed, I felt anxious and couldn’t quite shake it.

But then I walked through the door of our apartment – rented, imperfect, temporary – and felt a wave of relief. Home. And just like that, the excitement crept back in. The anticipation of a Spanish Christmas returned, helped along by a beautiful sunrise the next morning and a day that was joyful in its own quieter, very different way.

Not better. Not worse. Just different.

When reality interrupts the fantasy

Then we got sick. And the weather really turned.

The storms arrived, the temperature dropped, and our apartment got cold in a way I hadn’t expected. As we bunkered down, the dream started to feel a bit shaky. I was wrapped in layers, running on low energy, and caught in a bit of a funk.

This wasn’t the version of life I’d pictured. Where was the Mediterranean life, the endless sunshine, the warmth?

And that’s when the doubt crept back in.

The question that changed everything

But in the middle of it all, I stopped and asked myself a simple question: what would I be doing if we were still in the UK?

The answer came immediately.

I’d be hibernating from the bad weather and calling it cozy season. I’d be listening to the rain against the windows and finding it relaxing. I’d be in Christmas pjs all day, eating chocolate, watching films, and feeling grateful for the rest I waited for all year.

So why did it feel so different here?
Why did a few days of bad weather, illness and an emotional wobble have the power to make me question a dream I had chased for so long?

The weight of expectation

I think part of it is expectation. When you move abroad, especially somewhere as romanticised as Spain, you expect the dream to hold. You expect it to keep you afloat when things get hard.

But life doesn’t work like that. Life follows you, wherever you go.

Bad days don’t disappear just because the scenery changes. Illness still arrives. Weather still turns. Emotions still rise and fall. The difference is that when those things happen in a new place, without safety nets, they can feel amplified.

And when you’ve invested so much hope in a dream, even the smallest doubts can make you question everything.

Letting go of perfection

What I’m learning, slowly, is that the dream doesn’t end because it wobbles. It evolves. It settles again. It becomes less glossy and more real.

For me, the only way through has been to sit with those feelings instead of boxing them away – to look honestly at what was really causing them – and to avoid making big decisions in the heat of the moment. Because, every time, without fail, Spain comes back out on top once the wobble passes.

So what if this Christmas wasn’t the picture‑perfect version I imagined? It was still ours, in the place we’ve chosen to call home. And tucked between the doubts and discomfort were beautiful moments and the start of new traditions, the kind that only life in Spain can offer.

Follow us on Instagram and Facebook for more real stories and inspiration about building a family life in Spain.